Can you ever really know someone?

I used to think that I could read people well, especially the men in my life. You talk with someone intimately for enough time and you get to know them really well. You live with them for long enough and you know them even better. Spend a lifetime with someone and you really begin to think you know them inside and out. But do we ever truly know someone? We all have walls that we put up, walls that we hide behind, even the most open among us have these walls. I like to think I'm about as open and honest as you can get, and yet there are parts of me that are saved just for me.

If you're like me and watch a lot of true crime shows, you would've heard countless times that the people closest to some pretty sick individuals really had no idea there was this side to them. I was watching this show the other day, "The Devil I Know", I think it was. There was this woman who was married to this sweet and gentle man. He wasn't perfect, but seemed as normal as the next person. It turns out he was a serial killer who preyed on young women. His wife and step daughter really had no idea. There was a time when I would have thought the woman had to be pretty darn stupid, but not anymore.

All we ever really know about anyone is what they let us see of them. Some people hide more than others, but we all hide something. I think it's necessary to keep certain parts of ourselves where no one else is allowed, it keeps the sense of self. And let's face it, if most of us shared every single part of us with the world, we'd likely be institutionalized.

There are some things that can alert us to what a person is truly like, the warning signs. But for one reason or another, usually being in love, we talk ourselves out of those warning signs. Being in love is a heady experience, I know, I've been there a time or two, thought I was in love even more times than I care to admit. Even worse, and it's usually us women who do this, we see the warning signs but think we can change this flaw we've seen in a man. I never went into any relationship with a man thinking I could change him. I was one of the ones who saw warning signs and talked myself right out of them. I'm sure many of us have. There's truth in the old adage, "love is blind." I like to people watch, particularly those in romantic relationships. Ever seen someone you know who is in love with totally the wrong person for them but they can't see it because they're in the height of being in love? You can see it's a train wreck waiting to happen. Even if you said something they likely wouldn't listen to you anyway. It would be great if we could step outside of ourselves and see the other person we're in love with the way that others do, wouldn't it? No, most of us walk around like we're on crack when we're in love, blind to the bad part of it and only wanting the high of it all. Despite having been burned by not really knowing someone many times, I still wouldn't want it any other way. I choose to believe that most of us are basically good and we shouldn't let the few bad ones color our view of the good ones. Besides, if you truly never know someone completely, you'll spend a lifetime of learning about them. Like anything else in life, sometimes there's sorrow that comes from being in love with the wrong person. But there's a lot of joy in getting to know someone.